nine months come and gone….
wow… so yesterday was nine months since lori passed away… strangely, it was a lovely day for me… instead of sitting around feeling sullen all day i spent the better part of the morning and afternoon hiking in one of my favorite places––the Yuba River, in Nevada City, CA.
it was a fitting way to spend the day, as it was one of lori’s favorite places too, and i made sure to keep her on my mind as we (my friend lance and i,) hiked into the canyon and made our way to a picture perfect swimming hole far down river from any other tourists or locals.
we had the place to ourselves, and enjoyed a few hours of swimming in the deep green water… laughing, and being silly, and yes, even managing a few profound moments as well.
of course, i miss lori to this day, but it isn’t a heartache anymore.
i hope that doesn’t freak you all out.
sure, i have painful moments, but they are actually fairly few and far between. i guess when it comes right down to it, i’m a lot more interested in living a full life in the here and now than i am in wallowing in a painful past….
and so i head towards the ending of my first year of widowhood with a very pleasant surprise in my heart––there is life after death, there is love everywhere, there is happiness deep down in me, where no darkness can penetrate… i owe a lot of people for helping me discover that… i hope you know who you are, and i hope you know i love you all.
you make me beam.
i’m beaming too!
keep that happy heart full of lightness, dear friend.
dance into the sunrise.
Wow - what a beautiful post! Full of light and hope.
Last week marked 8 months since my friend Julie passed away from cancer, plus it also marked what would have been her 36th birthday. I think all of us (her friends and family) are learning it’s okay to celebrate and be happy in the midst of continued sadness. That’s how she would have wanted it after all!
Take care,
Carrie
Wow - what a post. i know you don’t know me - but i have been reading your blog for about 6 months and you really are an inspiration to me. You are a strong, incredible person. Love the poetry!
I think you beautifully expressed a lot of stuff in this post that a lot of people who go through grief feel but struggle to express. You definitely didn’t freak this guy out with it - thanks for sharing what sounds like a lovely day.
Cary your words said it all dear, a very touching reading. Freak us out, no way…it’s time for you to enjoy life again, find happiness and joy after all you had to deal with and know Lori is smiling down on you, saying way to go Cary, enjoy. Know we all care and we’re here rooting you on. Arlene (AJ)
hey cary,
how wonderful to check in on your blog and learn that you are doing so well! i hope that every moment of your ‘here and now’ continues to be filled with joy, adventure, swimming holes, wet dog noses, cowboy hats (perhaps even dogs wearing cowboy hats) and of course, lovely people.
Love you too Cary and so glad to see you smilin’!!